Help thou mine unbelief

Dear Family!

 

This week felt SOOOO long. But it could have possibly been one of the most influential weeks on my mission so far!

 It started out with an exchange with the District Leader Elder Woodard, a great missionary and it gave me a great opportunity to take the lead a little bit more and things went great! We prepared a little 8 year old girl to be baptized her dad was baptized recently, but she is adorable! Violet is her name! The rest of that split was great I felt good but as the week went on it progressively got worse.

 We met with a man who is married to a ward missionary in our ward! Great people but we were tired of going over there and just talking, we are called to bring them closer to christ by the RESTORED GOSPEL not by chit chat. So we talked about the book of mormon and used Elder Hollands talk "Safety For the Soul" woah... his heart was HARDENED! major. I could feel the spirit inside me saying that he was not ready, not open and that i would need to hold strong to the things i knew to be true... but... i didn't.  I sat there slumped over in my seat, looked at Elder Holland and instead of enjoying his steadfast, concrete immovable testimony, I cowered and when it was time to talk I gave a weak wavering testimony... For the rest of the week I felt disappointed in myself but I never questioned what i knew to be true. I believed so strongly... but... i felt like Elder Hollands talk: "Lord I believe, help thou mine unbelief".  It was so dificult, my fire for the work had diminished and was being pushed out of my heart and replaced with skeptic thoughts :/. I prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed. And finally i realized if I just look at this with a positive mind, seeing that the lord allows us to go through trials in order to teach us necessary lessons, and those whom he loves he rebukes and chastens! So i began to press forward in confidence. Continuing to pray and search for reconfirmation, revelation and love from my savior. 

He spoke to me as I studied for specific lessons we had, (the revelation was about the priesthood and the power and authority that comes btw) so I knew I had not denied him to the point he would not speak to me. But as I prayed thursday evening I received a prompting to ask a blessing from Elder Langi (we're staying together another transfer btw ;) and I knew that saturday we would be baptizing the browns too! So I finally realized what the lord was teaching me, he was strenghtening my testimony of the priesthood, as well as how to push through and take full advantage of trials. 

SO! From that revelation on, I could be HAPPY! Still holding on to that revelation and praying in my heart whenever I got the chance! and then saturday morning, Elder Langi and I both dressed in our whites for the baptism exercised the priesthood we hold. The words I spoke flowed so powerfully and he expressed some special things from what I said and when he spoke he answered my prayers! The Lord spoke to me! and I felt a rush of restoration within my own heart! Elder Langi on top of that has given me so many inspiring words about me and my life and all of it brought me out of this! I feel so grateful for the spirit through him and the revelation I received and I experienced such peace of the spirit!! I know that its true, I know the spirit converts!! The spirit that was sooooo strong and present during the baptism! I got to baptize Zaryiah and Sis Brown and langi baptized violet! I'll send pics asap! :) and in sacrament meeting yesterday we gave them the holy ghost it was incredible, Zaryiah the 9 year old after her blessing (by me! i was so lucky) stood up and walked away and we were whispering "hey come back" so we could shake her hand, but as she got further away she began to wipe her eyes! She was crying! I knew she felt it! After church our ward mission leader and his wife came to their house and expressed their love and they talked about how the relief society was helping her in so many ways... I almost began crying there because I just knew we had done our job and now the ward could show their love and help these new saints:)  I love this work and being here in Tampa more than anything. The area is sooooo beautiful. we had a picnic RIGHT next to the beach and around 7 it began to cool down and there was a breeze and AHHH i fell in love with the poeple, the work and the place! I love it. and I will do ALLLLL I can to take advantage of the time I have to do this work!

 

I invite anyone who feels the weight of the world, even in your own mind, even if your feelings just weigh you down, you doubt yourself, you just feel like you aren't as strong as you should be or would like to be?? JUST KNOW THE LORD IS ABOUT TO TEACH YOU SOMETHING WONDERFUL! And he will. And he will bless you for it!

 

Mom you too! Whenever you feel the depression hit just know that he is about to teach you something wonderful, your spirit may feel weak, only so you'll be vulnurable to the promptings and teachings! PRESS ON WITH FAITH! HE loves us way to much not to trust that he will always try to teach us! I love you mom! SO MUCH!

 

Be not afraid;Only Believe

 

Elder Nelson

Grandma Brown

This week Elder Nelson's email was mostly personal to our family so I decided not to bore you with the details of that.  But this is the portion that included what is happening this week.  He is still on fire! 

(I believe the oldest girl is the one getting baptized with her grandmother.  

The little boy in the picture is a friend of theirs.)

Stephen is in Love with this family!

We HAVE A BAPTISM THIS SATURDAY! Gma Brown and her g duaghter!! I love them SO MUCH! She has so much faith! I know with all my heart this is going to help her so much and change her g daughters lives forever! The adversary is fighting her hard, but he will not win!

Transfer calls are this saturday so we'll see what happens between us! Caleb wrote me a letter! He's doing great! serving in CORN FIELDS! haha thats awesome! And three Elders who were  in the mtc w Payton are in my ZONE its so cool! I hope we all hang out after the mission!!

This gospel, these missions, this work. It's all divinely established and Christ literally leads it. Every single day. I know it :) I love you

be not afraid; only believe

Elder Nelson

You Cannot Go Back!

This week was just crazy. But oh my goodness how the Lord will make us what he will, and work the miracles he chooses to in our lives if we are just willing to do the work and try! 

Last week we were preparing for the baptism of Kim, she was a referral from one of our recent converts and she was as golden as it could possibly get. When we showed her the book of mormon she said "It's got to be true, it talks about Jesus Christ" and we explained the prophet and she said it makes complete sense, and she expressed the lack of the spirit that accompanied her previous baptisms, she said she just didn't feel anythingand when we explained the priesthood she said that must be why! She came back the next week to church with her daughter and we began to teach both of them. They loved all of it, but her daughter Aisha wasn't as certain as her mother. Its all good though we're still working on her. Wel,l that was two weeks ago last monday. Kim told us she was leaving(moving) for work the next tuesday! ( today) we began praying and praying trying to figure out if she was suppose to be baptized before she left or not?! it was crazy... but we finally felt that it REALLY needed to happen. And that was on saturday! So sunday we organized the fastest baptism anyone would ever see. We called all the people in our ward.  The 1st counselor helped us a ton and we did it! we were not expecting very many people to come on such short notice and FAST sunday but oh my goodness. It was packed, and there were soooooooo many primary kids! ha :) I was blessed with the opportunity to baptize her. The baptism was sooo beautiful and the spirit was so strong. Sitting there wearing those whites, seeing her in white the spirit was overwhelming. I had been preparing, for 18 years straight, trying to learn all I can, make the best choices I can, spent nights staying up praying until I cried trying to find out if I was really good enough and ready, and could really serve this mission. Then I sat there, worthy, next to a daughter of God, who was completely ready to take that step of faith. We walked into the font, I grabbed her wrist, raised my arm, and with the authority given to me by my father and Ultimately from Jesus Christ, Baptized her and afterward Elder Langi gave her the gift of the holy ghost and confirmed her a member... Man. I was just so overwhelmed with the spirit. 

But the craziest part is every single day, the devil combats my heart with feelings of insecurity, with inadequacy and a lack of confidence. As he does with all missionaries. Yes, yes, I and all missionaries can improve, yes I will work harder to be more obedient, yes I am a brand new missionary in the feild but I hold the power and authority of God, as well as being set apart as a minister to preach the gospel, cry repentance to every ear and lead them to baptism.

 I heard a talk by Elder Holland, one he gave in the mtc. He explained that we need to teach with authority, and power just as ammon and aaron and alma and amulek did, get to the point that our natural impulse is obedience, and above all (combinding another talk I heard directly after listening to this one) do not cast away therefore your confience. I know that this calling is divine. I know that we are all destined for great things. For one we are sons and daughters of a Heavenly Father.  But above that ,the Lord will make us what he will if we endure and accept trails, and allow him to shape us. From that same mtc devotional by Elder Holland he explained that after the crucifiction of the Savior Peter returned to his boats and began to fish again, doing what he did before, and when christ came back asking him "Peter, do you love me?" three times, and Peter answers 3 times yes,Lord Thou knowest that I love thee! and Elder Holland explains what the savior was really saying when He said " Then feed my sheep!" He was not saying only feed them when I'm here, or for a little while, he was saying when I called you from your old lives Im calling you forever, when I called you as a disciple im calling you forever, when I called you as an apostle im calling you forever, when I called you as a missionary. It's forever. YOU. CANNOT. GO BACK. When Peter answered the Lord the Third time, saying it with all the power of his soul, truely responding to the commandment to feed His sheep, he truely became what the Lord had called him to do. I feel the same in me, as a missionary I am called forever. I will be whatever the Lord wants of me, I will leave my net forever, and just as ammon I will feed his sheep "perhaps until I die" because I have responded to the Lords question " Do you love me?" Yes. I do. I do love him and owe not only my mortal life, but eternal life to My Lord and savior and teacher and friend. When i am denied, he was denied first, when I am hated i am hated for his sake, and when I succeed, I boast of my Lord. I know that this is a divine work and i am a very very very small and insignificant tool. But the Lord uses very small means to accomplish his purposes. Through the hard times, I am made weak, and I endure, choosing right, hoping the Lord will make me strong, and accomplish some great purpose. This is my eternal, hope forever, I love this gospel so much. I love the chance to do this. I know my redeemer lives, and I know he chose Joseph and I join him, I stand next to those two proclaiming the Truth, in a world who denies those trying to save it. Any time I feel afraid, I remember a quote by Ezra Taft Benson, when one of the apostles asked "president any advice? he said "yea, remember its not 1830 and there's not just 6 of us :) haha I love it and can't wait to see what the Lord has in store!

Elder Nelson

Be not afraid; Only Believe

Stand by the Savior

First off I love you, more than you all even know, seriously. I feel your love, and I break free of doubtful thoughts. Your love, just as my setting apart blessing said, is getting me through.  My family is my everything. I am so sorry I took for granted your love.

 Dad and Bro Gabbitas giving blessings to those kids and Bryce, is such a blessing to me, and so important.  Dad and Bro. Gabbitas are using the power of God as it has been given. Christ would have done the same if he were here.  Thank you for being worthy. School starting...woah, Bryce is getting old! And football season is the best part of it! What a great opportunity to spread the gospel through example, to Bryce I say be humble and put the Lord first and he will renew your strength beyond what you can think!  I promise, without the Lord I promise you i would not have done any good on the team.  Its more important to win in your heart, and in the eyes of your teammates than on the scoreboard!! But I know you'll have success! I love you bro! You have a letter coming! Im trying to send a package soon! DRIVING!?!? thats not right!! I would love to be driving out here haha, we are FULL bike, but we get rides a lot its awesome!   Please give me Grandma Rose's email or address or something, I see now the love that my grandparents have for me and how I didn't show it enough in return:/ I love you grandma and Grandpa Nelson and Grandma Rose. 

Thank you for hastening the work! I know you all are tying to magnify your callings and be dependable members of our ward! You all can to help make our ward a zion-like ward and Bryce believe it or not is the only one with keys in the house, Dad doesn't have keys, Michael doesn't, Bryce does, he is the President of all the kids 14-15 in our ward boundaries, through prayer and thought he can change lives and magnify his priesthood, save lives and be a ministering angel to them with the assistance of the angels of above! Bryce I invite you to do this!

I often become discouraged when I feel that same pressure on me, but whom the Lord calls he qualifies. We will never ever, ever be left alone. Be confident in your calling and know that we can do all things the lord asks! We are not meant for small things! Know that we have a calling from beyond the veil know that we are not suppose to standby living life making no difference. The lord has allowed us to grow up in the church so that we can serve the world standing as a light for others, and showing others the light of our own testimony!

This week I have felt the love of the Savior in me. No matter what comes up, the savior felt it. He was alone standing for what he knew was true, he suffered he set the example and he recieved nothing. Out of simple love he rescued us all. So this week, as we taught our investigator Kim, about the book of mormon, and she said i know its true, because it talks about the book of mormon, and another, Annette, said that no matter what she goes through, jobless, friendless, caught in the addiction of ciggarettes, and explaining her triumph over abuse, tell us that she will never give up on the Lord because she knows that he is there for her. If he can bear all of us in his hands and his feet, and if Kim can know its true simply because of Christ, and Annette can preservere with faith in Christ when the entire world is on top of her, and they progress towards baptism, then we can do our part. We can stand by the savior now and forever, we can stand and proclaim the gospel and invite someone to church or magnify our priesthood, read the book that joseph died for, we can pray with our families and the Lord will work miracles with us! I love my savior, and I know i am not doing nearly enough for him, but I love him. And will continue to try! I invite all of you to do something this week out of sincere love for the savior! Whether to help your own soul or the souls of others! This is all he aks of us! I love you all so much!

Family, I love you and I know you are doing good things, Michael and Megan, you say you are reading and learning with each other thats amazing, keep going, I want to have a marriage like that. Mom, I know you're reading and working hard in your calling. Dad, i know as well. Bryce, I know you're trying to balance it all, you're doing it all, and I am with you, so lets all invite and bring others closer to christ! I hope I don't sound preachy or annoying, I just really had a great moment this week that made me really appreciate the Savior, and feel so much love for him! I can't wait to hear from you again. I miss you.

Be not afraid; only Believe!

Elder Nelson

D & C 112:10

Just an FYI..... Elder Nelson writes 2 emails home each week.  One letter he writes strictly to our family and the other he writes is like the following telling us what he has learned this week.  I am going to try and combine the two when I figure out how to do that.  At least the interesting facts that he shares in his personal email.  Anyway, enjoy!

This week was so humbling. In all senses of the word. All week we struggled to really find people to teach, and we just were trying to stay positive and trying to do all we were supposed to, to hasten the work, but could not quite figure out how to do it. We are trying to be instruments in the hands of the Lord and just be led by him. And did not see how we really were suppose to do that. We are stuck in this transition time of the old and new ways of missionary work. So we just prayed, and prayed, and tried. Saturday night hit and we were just trying to stay positive and being funny, and getting a little light minded; just then we recieved a text to speak in sacrament meeting, on any topic of our choice. This was a wake up call and a burden at first, but once we humbled ourselves, we realized what a blessing this was. We both prepared and the spirit spoke through us. As we looked over the congregation we saw that we had present 7 investigators, 5 less actives and 2 recent converts. One of the ladies in our ward who has recently been baptized, divorced, and struggling to find a job, brought her friend to church. She spoke with us after church and said she wanted a book of mormon and a gospel principles book and loved her time here at church. How humbling this experience was, the Lord hastened his work and we just needed to humble our hearts. We stand back and look what the Lord does. So I invite everyone to Humble your hearts and watch as the Lord will take your hand if we are just willing to move our feet. I know this work is His and I know it is true. I Love all of you.

Be not afraid; Only Believe

Elder Nelson

D&C 133:37

So, I don't have much time today but, I just wanted to explain something very important! 

The WORK IS HASTENING!

Missionary work is taking a huge change, and change that in the words of Robert D. Hales is the equivalent to the restoration of the gospel! Missionary work is now completely through the members! If you have not been to lds.org and looked at hastening the work I invite you to do so! It explains how the finding is now through the members and together with the help of the missionaries we will bring the gospel to every nation kindred tongue and people! We cannot tract anymore because there shouldn't be any time to do so! We need to spend every moment teaching the friends and family of those who are already members of this great church. So we are told by Thomas S. Monson to open our mouths! That's all. If you invite 100 people this week then you have succeeded, if you have invited one person this week. Then you have succeeded in this work. But you MUST open your mouth! AND SHARE IT! We have the truth, the only way back to the loving arms of our Father. We are selfish if we are coasting and just getting by until we can finally enter the gates. That is LUKE warm and He will spew us out. We must be either hot or cold, in or out, and if we are in, then we must OPEN OUR MOUTHS! As missionaries we are trying to qualify for the next level of tools to share and speed this up, but for now we must have people to teach. Your friends, your family, your coworkers. If you are not sure how to do it, ask the missionaries! If you're sure what to say ASK THE MISSIONARIES. If Joseph Smith being called of God to restore the everlasting Gospel and recieve the power and Authority which which save all of us was important enough to listen to and follow, then WE MUST open our mouths!  I know and have a firm testimony that our savior lives and he is ever present in our day to day lives. Through the power of the Holy Ghost we will know its true, and if we truely truely endure to the end we will see our Father and our savior. I know these things are true, and I know this call is immediate and vital! I love all of you so much! And cannot wait to share the miracles that come with this! We have a family that recently called us in desperate need of help, and they know we can help them in all aspects of her life and her grandchildren, she has committed to coming and is believing all we tell her! She is progressing and said she will prepare herself for her first step of faith in baptism on the 31st! So Pray for Roxanne! the miracles have already begun!

Elder Nelson!

Be not afraid; Only believe

We can't do it without him!

Ah so this week was all about prayer and faith! The Lord will help you become all you need to be. But I just know I can't do it without him! We taught sharing time in primary this past sunday and oh man those kids are crazy but man I learned so much. The gospel is simple and is not based on logic, and dissection of scripture, it's about faith on the simple things and then asking our father if its true! That's all it is. When we want something or need something its because we FEEL imcomplete without it, or we FEEL sad so we want to feel happy, or feel hungry and want to be full. When we feel hungry we don't go studying about why our body responds the way it does when we're lacking food? So why would God make the way to know things are true by going out and dissecting it? well he didn't he just wants us to go find the right food, eat it and then he will answer us by giving that FEELING! our heart is where we will know truth, our brains will help us choose, but our heart is where we can KNOW! As I felt things in myself lacking, and the needs of our investigators or other missionaries lacking, prayer was the answer! Elder Langi and I have been praying for so many things, as a missionary you truly realize how much we really lack. But the Lord will answer in his MARVELOUS WAY! It was a great week and the Lord has answered my prayer. As our investigators are realizie how their prayers are being answered, I know they will see the change! We have a family here, a mother and a daughter, the daughter is being prepared to be baptized and the mother is being reactivated. They pray so much now, and how they have been saved from trials. And in the midst of that, she has been an answer to our prayers. So pray and listen to how you FEEL!

 Just a cool side note, about 40 missionaries went to the Tampa Bay Rays game vs. the Giants and we sang the nat'l anthem! It, was. the. coolest.thing.ever. When I send my SD card home you can see some videos and stuff. I forgot on the actual performance tho, so that sucks. but ya it was so cool, the entire mission came to the actual game and it was so awesome to see my old district from the mtc as well as new missionaries! It was awesome to hear the announcer say, "missionaries from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day saints! and the section where all the missionaries were just LOST THEIR MIND! We felt so small down there, but that was again, another answer to my prayer saying. NO, you are never alone, just these 200 missionaries is a small portion of what you represent.

 We are never alone, He is always with us, and He is the head of this work, and this entire world. How grateful I am to be right with my father, as I live in HIS world. I know these things are true, God loves each of his children and wants to communicate with us. I know it. I love all of you! The church is true in TAMPA! Be Not Afraid; Only Believe. Elder Nelson